Paint Creek, Texas- Local “Scientists” confirm after observing Chuck Norris drink 32 ounces of Coronavirus that the key to developing a vaccine may be within his bloodstream.
Apparently, the Coronavirus itself went into quarantine after coming into contact with Mr. Norris at his 80th birthday party,” sources” report.
Human trials will soon be underway if Mr. Norris complies that is. In the past Mr. Norris has been very reluctant to assist scientists with potential medical breakthroughs with the study of his DNA. In a 2006 study Texas “Scientists” revealed that special minerals and antibodies within Chuck Norris’s tears may indeed cure cancer, but the study came to an abrupt end when Mr. Norris refused to cry.
“No.” he said, as he ripped the sleeves off of his blue jean jacket and reportedly disappeared into a nearby forest.
Hopefully, with this present study Mr. Norris will come to understand that he is the best chance for a vaccine and perhaps the only source of immunity to the Coronavirus. Time is of the essence and with Mr. Norris’s consent human trials could be underway as soon as yesterday.
-kg
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